Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Interview with Howard Shapiro, a Children book author: Top Five Tips on Raising Kids
Interview with Howard Shapiro, a Children book author: Top Five Tips on Raising Kids
by: Py Kim Conant
Interview with Howard October 24 2006
Q: What are you working on now?
At the moment I am marketing my Hanukkah book for the 2nd year and trying to get my anti-bullying book into schools, foundations etc.
After the first of the year, I am planning to start work on my third book "Hockey Day's" which I hope to have out in October, 2007.
Q: Tell us about your two books?
My first book was published in October, 2005. It is called "Hanukkah Counts Too!" and the premise is that there are a brother (Tom) and a sister (Tupelo) who are each eight years old and they live in a predominately non-Jewish area and they are bombarded by Christmas images, shows, movies etc. And Tupelo, questions why they have to be different and why Santa can't bring her a tree or presents. She runs upstairs on the first night of Hanukkah but has a heart-to-heart talk with her older cousin and after the talk she comes to realize that Hanukkah is an important holiday and that it matters (and counts) too.
My new book which was released on September 12th, is called "Destructo Boy & Spillerella...We Are Who We Are!" and it is an anti-bullying story. It again involves Tom and Tupelo, who are being bullied by a big fourth grader. First the bully starts picking on Tom and then Tupelo and Tom has a chat with his Dad who reminds him that he has strength and courage that he doesn't even know he has. When the bully starts picking on Tupelo, and Tom sees the hurt in her eyes and face, he puts his foot down and tells the bully that his words and actions don't matter and will not hurt he or Tupelo any more.
Q: Top five tips for raising kids:
1. Parents have to work as a team: I believe that this is the absolute number one tip for raising kids. The Parents must be in sync with each other and cover each other on household tasks. Especially when the child or children are one to three years old. The household tasks like doing the laundry, the dishes, emptying the trash, balancing the checkbook and paying the bills can be overwhelming so those tasks must be divided up and the parents have to WORK at being good teammates.
2. Make time for yourself. Whether it's going to a movie by yourself or just walking around the mall or going to a athletic event, couples need to do some stuff to get them out of the house for a short amount of time.
3. Schedule at least one date night a month. While it helps to recharge one's batteries doing something solo, couple's should make time once a month to get out and see a movie or have dinner or simply get out of the house and be together at least once a month.
4. Be cost and money concious. Everyone wants to make their kids happy but the $50 or $75 that is spent on a holiday gift or outfit that will be thrown in the closet never to see the light of day could be better used by being put in the bank or towards a college education fund. When I say money concious I mean that the husband and wife should put off luxury purchases and similar purchases like new furniture, drapes a better car etc. in lieu of saving money for the childs education.
5. Keep things "even" between the husband and wife's families. What I mean is that if you have to make two Thanksgiving stops, do it. If the wife's mother is watching the kids one night, ask the husband's mother to watch them the next time. Keeping both families on an even keel will do wonders for the husband and wife in their relationship and won't cause any friction with their families. If one side is being too agressive or bossy, it is the husband or wife's obligation to tell them to back off, it's for the greater good of THEIR marriage/relationship and in the children's interst to keep things as even as possible between the families.
Q: Where can we find out about your books and website?
I have a website, http://www.howardshapiro.net and my books are both available on Amazon.com. Also, copies can be ordered directly from me and I will autograph each copy. Both books cost $8.95. For more information, please send an email to howard.shapiro@hotmail.com or go to http://www.howardshapiro.net
Q: Something people must know about you.
Just that I work really hard at the whole "business" or writing and marketing my books and that I love feedback from people who have read them. As Louis Ferdinand Celine said "when you write, you should put your skin on the table" and I truly believe this and want my books to make a difference to someone or help them in some way, even if it's just for a moment. That, and I also believe that we are all capable of greatness in all that we do and we should strive for that.
by: Py Kim Conant
Interview with Howard October 24 2006
Q: What are you working on now?
At the moment I am marketing my Hanukkah book for the 2nd year and trying to get my anti-bullying book into schools, foundations etc.
After the first of the year, I am planning to start work on my third book "Hockey Day's" which I hope to have out in October, 2007.
Q: Tell us about your two books?
My first book was published in October, 2005. It is called "Hanukkah Counts Too!" and the premise is that there are a brother (Tom) and a sister (Tupelo) who are each eight years old and they live in a predominately non-Jewish area and they are bombarded by Christmas images, shows, movies etc. And Tupelo, questions why they have to be different and why Santa can't bring her a tree or presents. She runs upstairs on the first night of Hanukkah but has a heart-to-heart talk with her older cousin and after the talk she comes to realize that Hanukkah is an important holiday and that it matters (and counts) too.
My new book which was released on September 12th, is called "Destructo Boy & Spillerella...We Are Who We Are!" and it is an anti-bullying story. It again involves Tom and Tupelo, who are being bullied by a big fourth grader. First the bully starts picking on Tom and then Tupelo and Tom has a chat with his Dad who reminds him that he has strength and courage that he doesn't even know he has. When the bully starts picking on Tupelo, and Tom sees the hurt in her eyes and face, he puts his foot down and tells the bully that his words and actions don't matter and will not hurt he or Tupelo any more.
Q: Top five tips for raising kids:
1. Parents have to work as a team: I believe that this is the absolute number one tip for raising kids. The Parents must be in sync with each other and cover each other on household tasks. Especially when the child or children are one to three years old. The household tasks like doing the laundry, the dishes, emptying the trash, balancing the checkbook and paying the bills can be overwhelming so those tasks must be divided up and the parents have to WORK at being good teammates.
2. Make time for yourself. Whether it's going to a movie by yourself or just walking around the mall or going to a athletic event, couples need to do some stuff to get them out of the house for a short amount of time.
3. Schedule at least one date night a month. While it helps to recharge one's batteries doing something solo, couple's should make time once a month to get out and see a movie or have dinner or simply get out of the house and be together at least once a month.
4. Be cost and money concious. Everyone wants to make their kids happy but the $50 or $75 that is spent on a holiday gift or outfit that will be thrown in the closet never to see the light of day could be better used by being put in the bank or towards a college education fund. When I say money concious I mean that the husband and wife should put off luxury purchases and similar purchases like new furniture, drapes a better car etc. in lieu of saving money for the childs education.
5. Keep things "even" between the husband and wife's families. What I mean is that if you have to make two Thanksgiving stops, do it. If the wife's mother is watching the kids one night, ask the husband's mother to watch them the next time. Keeping both families on an even keel will do wonders for the husband and wife in their relationship and won't cause any friction with their families. If one side is being too agressive or bossy, it is the husband or wife's obligation to tell them to back off, it's for the greater good of THEIR marriage/relationship and in the children's interst to keep things as even as possible between the families.
Q: Where can we find out about your books and website?
I have a website, http://www.howardshapiro.net and my books are both available on Amazon.com. Also, copies can be ordered directly from me and I will autograph each copy. Both books cost $8.95. For more information, please send an email to howard.shapiro@hotmail.com or go to http://www.howardshapiro.net
Q: Something people must know about you.
Just that I work really hard at the whole "business" or writing and marketing my books and that I love feedback from people who have read them. As Louis Ferdinand Celine said "when you write, you should put your skin on the table" and I truly believe this and want my books to make a difference to someone or help them in some way, even if it's just for a moment. That, and I also believe that we are all capable of greatness in all that we do and we should strive for that.
Bringing Your Fiancé to America
Bringing Your Fiancé to America
by: John Kunkle
There are essentially two legal ways to bring the woman of your dreams to America:
· As a fiancé (before you are married)
· As a wife (after you are married)
Of the two, bringing her to America under a fiancé visa is the fastest and easiest process and is the best method for you to follow. We will discuss this method first.
The number one rule in the application process is that you should not attempt to fool or mislead the INS, now called the CIS under the Department of Homeland Security, or US embassy in any way.
Even though it is now officially the CIS -- Citizenship and Immigration Services under the Department of Homeland Security, everybody but the government stills refers to it as the INS. We will continue to refer to the agency as the INS throughout our discussion below. However, you are now familiar with the fact that it has been renamed.
They are still using all the same numbers for the forms and all the same paperwork, with very few exceptions.
There Are No Shortcuts:
If you are already married, or you are planning to get married in her country before you bring her to America, don’t try to slip this past them. Chances are, it won’t work.
The consequences of getting caught are not worth the chance. Your application will probably be denied, without possibility of re-application. Your fiancé will probably be blacklisted, which means that she will never be able to come to the US. You may be blacklisted by the INS and / or subject to criminal prosecution and fines.
Do not show up at the local US embassy in Russia with your fiancé and try to get a tourist visa or student visa for her. Not only will they not give her a visa, they may mark her passport that will not allow her to apply for a visa for at least a year.
They may also permanently blacklist her from immigrating to America. The reason for this is that she is applying for a temporary tourist or student visa while her intent is to immigrate to America permanently. The INS and US embassy personnel consider this a misrepresentation at best and fraudulent at worst.
These shortcuts are not worth taking because of your ignorance or impatience with the legal process. The possibility of having to wait a few more months for you to get married or for your fiancé to come to America is not worth the consequences of getting caught stepping outside the law.
Follow The Rules:
Learn the rules and follow them. Or you can hire someone to help you with the process.
US embassy personnel are aware that many people come to America on temporary visas and then disappear once they are in America.
If you are going to bring your fiancé to America, you have to apply for a permanent visa, which is either a fiancé visa or a spousal visa.
If you follow the law, there is almost no doubt that your fiancé will be allowed to come to America, provided that you both meet the standards established by the INS and the US embassy. It may take a little longer than you would like, but she will be able to come here and stay here legally, which is the ultimate goal.
by: John Kunkle
There are essentially two legal ways to bring the woman of your dreams to America:
· As a fiancé (before you are married)
· As a wife (after you are married)
Of the two, bringing her to America under a fiancé visa is the fastest and easiest process and is the best method for you to follow. We will discuss this method first.
The number one rule in the application process is that you should not attempt to fool or mislead the INS, now called the CIS under the Department of Homeland Security, or US embassy in any way.
Even though it is now officially the CIS -- Citizenship and Immigration Services under the Department of Homeland Security, everybody but the government stills refers to it as the INS. We will continue to refer to the agency as the INS throughout our discussion below. However, you are now familiar with the fact that it has been renamed.
They are still using all the same numbers for the forms and all the same paperwork, with very few exceptions.
There Are No Shortcuts:
If you are already married, or you are planning to get married in her country before you bring her to America, don’t try to slip this past them. Chances are, it won’t work.
The consequences of getting caught are not worth the chance. Your application will probably be denied, without possibility of re-application. Your fiancé will probably be blacklisted, which means that she will never be able to come to the US. You may be blacklisted by the INS and / or subject to criminal prosecution and fines.
Do not show up at the local US embassy in Russia with your fiancé and try to get a tourist visa or student visa for her. Not only will they not give her a visa, they may mark her passport that will not allow her to apply for a visa for at least a year.
They may also permanently blacklist her from immigrating to America. The reason for this is that she is applying for a temporary tourist or student visa while her intent is to immigrate to America permanently. The INS and US embassy personnel consider this a misrepresentation at best and fraudulent at worst.
These shortcuts are not worth taking because of your ignorance or impatience with the legal process. The possibility of having to wait a few more months for you to get married or for your fiancé to come to America is not worth the consequences of getting caught stepping outside the law.
Follow The Rules:
Learn the rules and follow them. Or you can hire someone to help you with the process.
US embassy personnel are aware that many people come to America on temporary visas and then disappear once they are in America.
If you are going to bring your fiancé to America, you have to apply for a permanent visa, which is either a fiancé visa or a spousal visa.
If you follow the law, there is almost no doubt that your fiancé will be allowed to come to America, provided that you both meet the standards established by the INS and the US embassy. It may take a little longer than you would like, but she will be able to come here and stay here legally, which is the ultimate goal.
Radical Personal Responsibility:
Radical Personal Responsibility:
by: Paul and Layne Cutright
When you assume radical personal responsibility, you live in a truth that proclaims:
I am responsible for how I allow others to affect me.
In a world of forces beyond my control, I can learn to be the keeper of my own heart and mind.
Even when things appear not to be going my way, and I am upon an emotional sea of crossing and diverging currents, I can still navigate my way to my ultimate good fortune.
I proclaim that I am not a victim of the world I see. I am a co-creator of it. Let love and wisdom be my moral compass, and let clarity be the wind in my sails.
New peace, harmony, and power fill your relationships when you practice radical personal responsibility. Through it, you enter a more refined sphere of relating that enhances your life and accelerates the realization of your ultimate spiritual self. Practicing radical personal responsibility forever changes the way you approach and resolve conflict.
Jealousy and other emotions like it can appear to be happening to us or to be inflicted on us by others. But to address the root cause of any upset, you must learn to observe the internal factors that shape your own perceptions and reactions. We call this ability to observe yourself and realize your power to alter these perceptions and reactions Radical Personal Responsibility.
We call it radical because it is such a departure from what is commonly thought of as responsibility, which can mean laying blame. Instead, it is insight into the deeper workings of your mind that illuminates how you have contributed to any challenging situation before you.
When you take personal responsibility, what are you taking responsibility for? You are taking responsibility for your own consciousness and the effects that it creates. The thoughts, beliefs, feelings, attitudes, impressions, perceptions, and interpretations—all of which you hold in your consciousness—can be a matter of choice.
If you are like most people, you are unaware of all the moments of choosing that go into your beliefs and your interpretations. You probably haven't noticed you are making choices all the time, choices that determine the possibilities that will be open or closed to you in your future.
If it feels as if your beliefs just show up fully developed and you have nothing to do with how they came to be a part of you, it is because you have not developed the ability to observe your own mind. The CURE (Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise) will help you.
Most of your beliefs were probably “absorbed” from your family when you were younger. The rest of them were absorbed from the community you grew up in and from the culture at large. The process of absorbing them was invisible to you, so you didn't notice you were doing it. It happened silently, in the background of your life. The process of absorbing your beliefs was invisible to you.
Regaining that awareness and accepting personal responsibility is an acquired skill. If it wasn't demonstrated for you when you were growing up, or you haven't intentionally studied it, chances are you haven't a clue about how to do it.
A start is to recognize what personal responsibility is not. In the absence of personal responsibility, all you can do is blame others for your difficulties because it looks to you as if they are to blame. This forever dooms you to a “victim” mentality that separates you from your personal power and spiritual and relational maturity. The CURE will teach you, step by step, to approach life’s hurdles in a different way that both enlightens and empowers you.
Once you learn to practice radical personal responsibility, you will find a source of inner strength and power that no one can ever take away from you. Because of your ability to take authentic, empowered responsibility, you will find that, in time, upsets become less frequent, of shorter duration, and less intense. This means you have more time and energy to focus on living the kind of life and sharing the kind of relationships you truly want and deserve.
© 2006 Paul and Layne Cutright – All rights reserved. You may publish this article in its entirety and with the authors’ resource information intact.
by: Paul and Layne Cutright
When you assume radical personal responsibility, you live in a truth that proclaims:
I am responsible for how I allow others to affect me.
In a world of forces beyond my control, I can learn to be the keeper of my own heart and mind.
Even when things appear not to be going my way, and I am upon an emotional sea of crossing and diverging currents, I can still navigate my way to my ultimate good fortune.
I proclaim that I am not a victim of the world I see. I am a co-creator of it. Let love and wisdom be my moral compass, and let clarity be the wind in my sails.
New peace, harmony, and power fill your relationships when you practice radical personal responsibility. Through it, you enter a more refined sphere of relating that enhances your life and accelerates the realization of your ultimate spiritual self. Practicing radical personal responsibility forever changes the way you approach and resolve conflict.
Jealousy and other emotions like it can appear to be happening to us or to be inflicted on us by others. But to address the root cause of any upset, you must learn to observe the internal factors that shape your own perceptions and reactions. We call this ability to observe yourself and realize your power to alter these perceptions and reactions Radical Personal Responsibility.
We call it radical because it is such a departure from what is commonly thought of as responsibility, which can mean laying blame. Instead, it is insight into the deeper workings of your mind that illuminates how you have contributed to any challenging situation before you.
When you take personal responsibility, what are you taking responsibility for? You are taking responsibility for your own consciousness and the effects that it creates. The thoughts, beliefs, feelings, attitudes, impressions, perceptions, and interpretations—all of which you hold in your consciousness—can be a matter of choice.
If you are like most people, you are unaware of all the moments of choosing that go into your beliefs and your interpretations. You probably haven't noticed you are making choices all the time, choices that determine the possibilities that will be open or closed to you in your future.
If it feels as if your beliefs just show up fully developed and you have nothing to do with how they came to be a part of you, it is because you have not developed the ability to observe your own mind. The CURE (Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise) will help you.
Most of your beliefs were probably “absorbed” from your family when you were younger. The rest of them were absorbed from the community you grew up in and from the culture at large. The process of absorbing them was invisible to you, so you didn't notice you were doing it. It happened silently, in the background of your life. The process of absorbing your beliefs was invisible to you.
Regaining that awareness and accepting personal responsibility is an acquired skill. If it wasn't demonstrated for you when you were growing up, or you haven't intentionally studied it, chances are you haven't a clue about how to do it.
A start is to recognize what personal responsibility is not. In the absence of personal responsibility, all you can do is blame others for your difficulties because it looks to you as if they are to blame. This forever dooms you to a “victim” mentality that separates you from your personal power and spiritual and relational maturity. The CURE will teach you, step by step, to approach life’s hurdles in a different way that both enlightens and empowers you.
Once you learn to practice radical personal responsibility, you will find a source of inner strength and power that no one can ever take away from you. Because of your ability to take authentic, empowered responsibility, you will find that, in time, upsets become less frequent, of shorter duration, and less intense. This means you have more time and energy to focus on living the kind of life and sharing the kind of relationships you truly want and deserve.
© 2006 Paul and Layne Cutright – All rights reserved. You may publish this article in its entirety and with the authors’ resource information intact.
The Growth of Hookup Websites: Will They Overtake 'Normal' Online Dating Services?
The Growth of Hookup Websites: Will They Overtake 'Normal' Online Dating Services?
by: Joe Davidson
Do online dating sites have a bad wrap for being hookup sites? Have online dating websites shed their stigma as a place for only the lonely, just to have traded it in for a hookup image? While it seems like there certainly are websites and services available for people to meet dates for hookups alone, there are also plenty of other types of relationships that can, and have been formed, through online dating services, from friendships, to email correspondence, hookups, casual dates, and even marriage.
The internet is renowned for being a place that has something for everyone. The online dating industry is no exception. Though there are endless options for people seeking other people for various reasons and different types of relationships, it seems to some that there is an overwhelming number of websites offering dates for hookups. This perception, while accurate in some senses, could also be due, in part, to the different marketing strategies approached by each, and the basic characteristics of companies and people who pursue these types of relationships.
To begin with, the marketing strategies for such websites are often quite aggressive. Though this may be a broad generalization, many websites that are designed to connect people for quick and easy sexual relationships are not as concerned with projecting a specific image, particularly in comparison with dating websites who try to distance themselves from this. Certainly, many online dating services give their members the option to seek any type of relationship they want, whether that be a casual date, hookup, or long term commitment. However, the majority of these sites don't promote themselves exclusively as hookup sites, and don't pursue marketing strategies that are as aggressive and anonymous. Most large online dating sites promote themselves as place for people to find love, and follow strict branding strategies. Hookup sites are often smaller companies, and are therefore less anonymous. This could help create the sense that there are many of these hookup services available, when really, this is because it is difficult to identify and differentiate the few that are out there.
The companies and people who are involved in these websites may also contribute to the sense that there are several hookup websites around these days. This may be partly because the companies are not large, recognizable brands. The influx of hookup sites may also be attributed to the fact that the people who participate in these websites are usually not long term members (this is also a broad generalization). In this sense, many members may come and go from the site, often just temporarily, to find a fast and casual hookup, and leave once they are satisfied. This may help create the impression that there are large numbers of people signing up, and increasing the number of members for these hookup sites. Nonetheless, there are several hookup sites available, whether they are sites dedicated to hooking up, or are 'normal' dating websites who offer their members the option to seek all sorts of different types of relationships.
by: Joe Davidson
Do online dating sites have a bad wrap for being hookup sites? Have online dating websites shed their stigma as a place for only the lonely, just to have traded it in for a hookup image? While it seems like there certainly are websites and services available for people to meet dates for hookups alone, there are also plenty of other types of relationships that can, and have been formed, through online dating services, from friendships, to email correspondence, hookups, casual dates, and even marriage.
The internet is renowned for being a place that has something for everyone. The online dating industry is no exception. Though there are endless options for people seeking other people for various reasons and different types of relationships, it seems to some that there is an overwhelming number of websites offering dates for hookups. This perception, while accurate in some senses, could also be due, in part, to the different marketing strategies approached by each, and the basic characteristics of companies and people who pursue these types of relationships.
To begin with, the marketing strategies for such websites are often quite aggressive. Though this may be a broad generalization, many websites that are designed to connect people for quick and easy sexual relationships are not as concerned with projecting a specific image, particularly in comparison with dating websites who try to distance themselves from this. Certainly, many online dating services give their members the option to seek any type of relationship they want, whether that be a casual date, hookup, or long term commitment. However, the majority of these sites don't promote themselves exclusively as hookup sites, and don't pursue marketing strategies that are as aggressive and anonymous. Most large online dating sites promote themselves as place for people to find love, and follow strict branding strategies. Hookup sites are often smaller companies, and are therefore less anonymous. This could help create the sense that there are many of these hookup services available, when really, this is because it is difficult to identify and differentiate the few that are out there.
The companies and people who are involved in these websites may also contribute to the sense that there are several hookup websites around these days. This may be partly because the companies are not large, recognizable brands. The influx of hookup sites may also be attributed to the fact that the people who participate in these websites are usually not long term members (this is also a broad generalization). In this sense, many members may come and go from the site, often just temporarily, to find a fast and casual hookup, and leave once they are satisfied. This may help create the impression that there are large numbers of people signing up, and increasing the number of members for these hookup sites. Nonetheless, there are several hookup sites available, whether they are sites dedicated to hooking up, or are 'normal' dating websites who offer their members the option to seek all sorts of different types of relationships.
The Confidence To Make You A Good Lover
The Confidence To Make You A Good Lover
by: John Alanis
Today I want to cover what I call "foundational stuff"... skills everyone knows you should have that are necessary, but are often overlooked in favor of "more advanced" skills. The truth is though, the "advanced skills" are worthless without a firm foundation, and if you're not getting the results you want, it's often because your foundation has eroded.
Everyone knows women "love a confident man", when it comes to good lovers. But, what specifically does "confidence" mean? Few people really know, even though they like to throw the word around. For instance, I appeared on a national radio program Saturday night, and one of the hosts kept saying, "oh you're just talking about being confident." Well, yes and no. See, there are several components to "confidence" and few people know what they really are. So, since I'm such a generous guy, I figured I'd tell you today!
Confidence to me, means a strong self image coupled with "preparedness." Both of these are important, because both can be created formulaically. "Confidence" by itself cannot be created, but once broken down into its components, the components can be created and strung together to create the emotional state known as confidence.
I can't teach you to be confident. But I can sure teach you how to build a strong self image, and how to be prepared.
One of the best books ever written on building the self image is Zero Resistance Living by Maxwell Maltz. In it, Maltz talks about designing, creating and building the self image you desire... as you build your self image, your life will begin to change in alignment with your new self image. Dr. Maltz is also the author Psychocybernetics, and I highly suggest you check out www.psycho-cybernetics.com if you want to discover how to quickly and easily create the self image to give you the outcomes you desire.
If you want to know where most guys fall down with women, it's the "preparedness" part. Why? Because it requires time, energy, and effort. It requires you to invest in your education, to take risks and spend money on information, like th information at http://www.byegoodlover.com. It requires you to use and implement this information, and to correct any implementation mistakes. Most guys are not willing to pay this price... much easier to spend their time talking and drinking beer with other guys who are talking and drinking beer.
Preparedness is hard... but when you're prepared you get results. I've seen confident guy after confident guy get shot down in flames by a beautiful woman who was initially attracted to him simply because he wasn't prepared to create a powerful feeling of attraction in her. He said or did something that flipped off the attraction triggers, and off she went with him never knowing why. It's not enough to have a strong self image... you have to be prepared as well. Only when you combine the two will you have true confidence.
by: John Alanis
Today I want to cover what I call "foundational stuff"... skills everyone knows you should have that are necessary, but are often overlooked in favor of "more advanced" skills. The truth is though, the "advanced skills" are worthless without a firm foundation, and if you're not getting the results you want, it's often because your foundation has eroded.
Everyone knows women "love a confident man", when it comes to good lovers. But, what specifically does "confidence" mean? Few people really know, even though they like to throw the word around. For instance, I appeared on a national radio program Saturday night, and one of the hosts kept saying, "oh you're just talking about being confident." Well, yes and no. See, there are several components to "confidence" and few people know what they really are. So, since I'm such a generous guy, I figured I'd tell you today!
Confidence to me, means a strong self image coupled with "preparedness." Both of these are important, because both can be created formulaically. "Confidence" by itself cannot be created, but once broken down into its components, the components can be created and strung together to create the emotional state known as confidence.
I can't teach you to be confident. But I can sure teach you how to build a strong self image, and how to be prepared.
One of the best books ever written on building the self image is Zero Resistance Living by Maxwell Maltz. In it, Maltz talks about designing, creating and building the self image you desire... as you build your self image, your life will begin to change in alignment with your new self image. Dr. Maltz is also the author Psychocybernetics, and I highly suggest you check out www.psycho-cybernetics.com if you want to discover how to quickly and easily create the self image to give you the outcomes you desire.
If you want to know where most guys fall down with women, it's the "preparedness" part. Why? Because it requires time, energy, and effort. It requires you to invest in your education, to take risks and spend money on information, like th information at http://www.byegoodlover.com. It requires you to use and implement this information, and to correct any implementation mistakes. Most guys are not willing to pay this price... much easier to spend their time talking and drinking beer with other guys who are talking and drinking beer.
Preparedness is hard... but when you're prepared you get results. I've seen confident guy after confident guy get shot down in flames by a beautiful woman who was initially attracted to him simply because he wasn't prepared to create a powerful feeling of attraction in her. He said or did something that flipped off the attraction triggers, and off she went with him never knowing why. It's not enough to have a strong self image... you have to be prepared as well. Only when you combine the two will you have true confidence.
Romantic Relationships, Relationship Problems
Romantic Relationships, Relationship Problems
by: Cher Sern Lim
Why It’s Worthwhile To Maintain Romantic Relationships And How To Keep The Relationship Problems Out.
If you’ve never been in a relationship before than it’s no surprise that you wouldn’t know what to do. But don’t panic, being in romantic relationships can be very rewarding and you might actually enjoy it compared to dating and one night stands. However like everything else being in a relationship has its problems.
The way to enjoy a relationship is to try to avoid as many of these problems as possible. And when you can’t you have to be willing to work things out in order to salvage your relationship instead of just deciding that things are not working out at the first sign of trouble.
Romantic relationships can work but you have to put effort into making it work. The first thing to remember is that when you are in a relationship, it involves two people. And the most important thing you need to do in a relationship is to compromise. Learn that you can’t always have your way, but you have to know when to put your foot down. Giving and taking is part of life and is crucial to keeping a relationship successful. As a man it is vital that you figure out when you need to give. Over giving is a turn off because women will start to view you as a pushover. So just like dating, remember to be nice but not too nice.
Women also love men who are thoughtful so making dinner arrangements, surprising her with dates and romantic gifts also help keep the relationship afloat. Again you can’t do this too often or she will come to expect it. Worse she will assume that you’ve done something wrong and you would have created problems for yourself when nothing was wrong with your relationship in the first place.
The next part of maintaining romantic relationships comes from communicating with your partner. You have to understand that women and men communicate differently. A lot of relationship problems actually occur because of simple misunderstandings when the couples are unable to communicate with one another. Take the time to understand your partner and how she is feeling (especially when she is emotional and needs time to calm down). I’m not saying that you need to take the emotional rubbish that women dish out but you have to try to understand where she is coming from and deal with it appropriately and not just slam the door on your way out.
Of course the biggest problem that relationships deal with are jealousy and betrayal. It would help greatly if neither your or your girlfriend are cheating types of course. As for jealousy if your girlfriend is the jealous type, either dump her if you can’t deal with that, or work out an arrangement with her. Get her to understand that woman A is just a close friend or colleague and nothing more. If you have jealousy issues you might want to meet up with her guy friend and who knows, you could be best of friends. But if that doesn’t work out, the best way to deal with it is to try to get over the jealousy issue because if you continue to harp at it your relationship will fail and that guy would have won.
Romantic relationships will come across problems. This is normal and the only way for you to ensure that you can maintain your relationship is to avoid as many of them as you can is to not give up on it. If you don’t think you can commit to a relationship then its better not to get into one at all because it will come with a whole bunch of problems that you might not have been ready to face.
by: Cher Sern Lim
Why It’s Worthwhile To Maintain Romantic Relationships And How To Keep The Relationship Problems Out.
If you’ve never been in a relationship before than it’s no surprise that you wouldn’t know what to do. But don’t panic, being in romantic relationships can be very rewarding and you might actually enjoy it compared to dating and one night stands. However like everything else being in a relationship has its problems.
The way to enjoy a relationship is to try to avoid as many of these problems as possible. And when you can’t you have to be willing to work things out in order to salvage your relationship instead of just deciding that things are not working out at the first sign of trouble.
Romantic relationships can work but you have to put effort into making it work. The first thing to remember is that when you are in a relationship, it involves two people. And the most important thing you need to do in a relationship is to compromise. Learn that you can’t always have your way, but you have to know when to put your foot down. Giving and taking is part of life and is crucial to keeping a relationship successful. As a man it is vital that you figure out when you need to give. Over giving is a turn off because women will start to view you as a pushover. So just like dating, remember to be nice but not too nice.
Women also love men who are thoughtful so making dinner arrangements, surprising her with dates and romantic gifts also help keep the relationship afloat. Again you can’t do this too often or she will come to expect it. Worse she will assume that you’ve done something wrong and you would have created problems for yourself when nothing was wrong with your relationship in the first place.
The next part of maintaining romantic relationships comes from communicating with your partner. You have to understand that women and men communicate differently. A lot of relationship problems actually occur because of simple misunderstandings when the couples are unable to communicate with one another. Take the time to understand your partner and how she is feeling (especially when she is emotional and needs time to calm down). I’m not saying that you need to take the emotional rubbish that women dish out but you have to try to understand where she is coming from and deal with it appropriately and not just slam the door on your way out.
Of course the biggest problem that relationships deal with are jealousy and betrayal. It would help greatly if neither your or your girlfriend are cheating types of course. As for jealousy if your girlfriend is the jealous type, either dump her if you can’t deal with that, or work out an arrangement with her. Get her to understand that woman A is just a close friend or colleague and nothing more. If you have jealousy issues you might want to meet up with her guy friend and who knows, you could be best of friends. But if that doesn’t work out, the best way to deal with it is to try to get over the jealousy issue because if you continue to harp at it your relationship will fail and that guy would have won.
Romantic relationships will come across problems. This is normal and the only way for you to ensure that you can maintain your relationship is to avoid as many of them as you can is to not give up on it. If you don’t think you can commit to a relationship then its better not to get into one at all because it will come with a whole bunch of problems that you might not have been ready to face.
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